Oh The Terrible Twos

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the terrible twos
It’s been a while since I shared any motherhood moments in this blog and while I do have a separate (dormant, if I may add) “mom” section, I just wanted to take a break from all the bustling beauty happenings in the world and share my candid thoughts about parenting a feisty little girl now in her Terrible Twos. Ahhhh, the bittersweet Terrible Twos. The it’s-all-fun-and-games-until-she-lies-on-the-floor-crying stage. On one hand, I love this stage because she can now voice out her opinions and thoughts in funny, broken sentences. “Mom, Dad snore scary“, “Mom, love you so much“, “Sorry mom, no more *insert bad thing done like licking the door continuously*.” I especially love the surprise hugs and kisses out of nowhere, the sudden singing and dancing of her own version of All About That Bass and Bang Bang, the random stories she’ll try to convey by making out sentences I think I need to hear 5x before I could understand. The warm, fuzzy, butterfly-inducing feelings they talk about when becoming a parent intensifies at this stage because of that verbal interaction. Enzo and I can’t help but literally laugh out loud when she speaks to us as if she’s a grown woman way beyond her years. When she comes up to me while I’m putting on makeup (in my bathrobe still and my hair up in a towel), “Mom, san ka punta (where are you going)? Sama Selene (take Selene).” selene-michelle-lie On the other hand, she can now voice out her opinions and thoughts. “I do it, mom!” “Change clothes momugly!” (most of the time referring to what I ask her to wear, sometimes what I’m wearing ha ha!) and her statement of the year, “NO!“. Time to eat, Selene.. NO. Let’s change your super wet diaper, Selene.. NO. Breathe some oxygen, gurl… NO. During the first bouts, I may or may not have gone inside our bathroom, looked at myself in the mirror and told myself the same thing. Breathe, Shari. The first time she lay on the floor while whining and crying was the first time ever again that I fell silent for a good 5 minutes. You could’ve given me a Calculus equation and I may have been able to solve it than have me think of how to calm a toddler down who when touched cries even louder. Okay maybe not a Calculus problem, maybe more of a how-much-do-I-‘save’-if-I-get-the-GWP-when-I-dont-really-need-it kind of problem. LOL. At the same time, as I handled more and more of these tantrums, I kind of got an idea of what kind of mother I will be. Something I didn’t think I would be way back when I was in my defiant adolescence stage always telling myself, “I will not be the same mom like my mom. I’ll be a way cooler mom.” UHHHH cue in the lightning strikes because Selene is only two yet I feel like I’m already more strict than my mom and dad combined. I know right. I’m surprisingly a ‘tough love’ kind of momma. Or in other words, the bad cop. Of course, Enzo’s always the good cop – who Selene knows she has right in the palm of her hand. the-misty-mom-daughter So yes, we’re at the stage where I feel discipline is necessary but not an increasing amount of it yet because at this age, she’s still just innocuously curious. Although we already do timeouts a.k.a “you did a bad thing, face the wall until you’re ready to say sorry”. Also, I’ve learned the best way to handle a tantrum – leave her to it. At first, I did the whole ‘calm yourself before you calm her down’ routine and it just escalated into ‘mom-might-also-be-having-a-tantrum’ situation. I’ve learned that walking away and not minding her was the best solution – even though that means I have to walk away with someone grabbing hold of my legs while I’m at it. The first time I did this – she walks up to me sobbing – I tell her I won’t talk to her if she kept on crying. So she held back her cry as much as she could and in between sobs, she kisses me on my lips and wipes her tears and mucus using my shirt. A few times, she even used my hair to wipe them off. LOLOLOL. Imagine me rolling on the floor laughing in my head because I couldn’t possibly show her I was laughing else she might think I’m amused by these tantrums. It’s such a FUUUUUN stage – like when you’re deep in frustration over a subject/course that you badly don’t want to fail in so you study your ass off in isolation but learn after all of it that you’ve actually topped the class. It all pays in the end. Except in dealing with these terrible twos, should I fail – I’ll end up with a spoiled, entitled child with a self-esteem so low or so high I can’t even see it with a telescope. In short, I fail at life. mom-parenting-terrible-twos
A clear picture of how it is when dealing with the terrible twos
So if you don’t hear from me in a few days or weeks here on the blog, it only means my ‘ignoring tantrums’ tactics aren’t working anymore and I might have taken Selene captive to a faraway cabin void of iPads and television or any kind of technology making her repeat “I will not get what I want in life through crying or throwing fits” 100x. So, that’s it for now. Taking off my motherhood cap in 3..2.. Selene, why are you licking the floor!!!!!
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  1. Nix Sayo
    April 15, 2015 / 10:13 am

    I know how you feel! I live in a house with 3 kids (my nephews) and it really is a challenge to hold in your laughter just so they wouldn’t get the idea that what they did was funny when it’s wrong. They do the most adorable things, yet they drive you insane at times. Haha such a fun read. And the tough love, yeah that’ll pay off when they’re a bit older. 🙂

  2. April 15, 2015 / 10:40 am

    Awwww Selene is so cute!! Your snaps of her are so adorable. Especially with the “Ganda Book” and her mini little heels. I babysit my cousin a lot. She’s 7 but from how you’ve described the Terrible Twos, I feel like she’s still stuck there. If she doesn’t like the clothes you’ve prepared, she’ll cry. If she doesn’t want to stop playing to eat, she’ll cry. If you change the channel, she’ll cry. She’s definitely spoiled (slightly by me). All I do when she cries is leave the room and wait for her to stop then apologize to me. She knows what she’s gotta do. 😉

  3. Lily
    April 15, 2015 / 12:00 pm

    LOL LOL! Yes, the terrible twos. I went through twice, and in another year and a half, I’ll be going through it the 3rd time. Thing is, it doesn’t get any easier. HAHAHA! If you’re a tough love kinda mom, just stick to your guns and don’t let her push you around. Do you know kids are mastermind manipulators? I got sucked in quite a few times, if I might add 😛

  4. April 15, 2015 / 1:28 pm

    Heehee so cute! My toddler here is now 3 and she only wears diapers at night. Happy mommy! lol

  5. April 15, 2015 / 3:37 pm

    Love this post! Makes me so excited for Star to get older and do the things that Selene does – but I know that she’ll grow up so fast from now on and I have to savour every bit of her being this tiny! (She’s actually not tiny, gosh. For three months Star is sooooo big haha)

  6. April 15, 2015 / 6:26 pm

    Hah, yeah, I also strive to keep myself from laughing when I see a child answering back his/her parent in a funny way. I don’t want to reinforce their behavior; I’m sure it must be annoying as heck for the parent!

  7. April 15, 2015 / 9:43 pm

    Gives me an idea of what my future will look like. When I imagine myself as a mom when I was younger, I never saw me as a ‘cool’ mom. I wonder what my parenting style would be.

  8. April 16, 2015 / 1:06 am

    Enjoyed reading this! Like Rae, I am not sure what my parenting style would be. My husband might be stricter than me because I am born stubborn. Hehe. Selene is so cute! Babies grow so fast so savor every moment! Hope to read more of this mommy stories! 🙂

  9. April 16, 2015 / 2:06 am

    We’re a lot alike when it comes to parenting. My son is five now, and we still do time outs where he faces the wall, too! I loved this stage, too. Do I miss it? Not so much. haha The funny thing is, as my son’s gotten older, I look back at when he was two years old and think that he wasn’t so bad. It’s when they can piece together really random questions and opinions that things start to pick up! Selene is adorable and seems to be full of character!

  10. April 16, 2015 / 11:04 am

    I highly doubt I’d ever be a cool mom some day. I’m too terrified of spoiled, entitled children that I just know I’m going to be OC about parenting. While I was reading this entry, I was kind of on the edge of my seat going, “Omg, how did she handle it?! If I were in her position, I would not have known what to do.” But I think you handled it so well, choosing to ignore her to teach her a valuable lesson about communicating properly and throwing tantrums to manipulate the situation. My parents also did that to me, so it taught me to be articulate.

    I feel like you can never imagine becoming the disciplinarian until the moment arrives and you choose the fight over the flight response. And just like that, you’re the bad cop na bigla because there’s a precedent na. :))

  11. April 16, 2015 / 1:18 pm

    She is just adorable! 🙂 I feel like my kids skipped the terrible twos and waited for the terrible threes lol! But kids grow up too fast and soon they learn to handle emotions and communication.

  12. April 17, 2015 / 5:17 pm

    This was such a good read! I’ve always wondered what kind of mom I’d be when I become a parent. I feel like I’d be more of the “bad cop” type like you though — but I’ll probably have a harder time at keeping in my laughter in certain situations haha. Kids can be so cute and funny but at the same time they drive you cray. =)))

  13. April 17, 2015 / 6:25 pm

    Love this post, Shari! I can so relate, haha! The funny (or not-so-funny) thing is, the tantrums continue until any age, they just change in form. These kids are smarter than parents think, usually. But as you said, it’s really really fun watching them evolve!

    PS: “Imagine me rolling on the floor laughing in my head because I couldn’t possibly show her I was laughing else she might think I’m amused by these tantrums.” AMEN! 😀

  14. marianabantug
    April 19, 2015 / 8:23 pm

    I love watching videos of Selene talking on Snapchat! Haha. I’m pretty sure I’ll be the bad cop when I have a child one day… most moms are! :))

  15. April 24, 2015 / 7:54 am

    Kudos to you for figuring out -early- the way to deal with Selene’s tantrums! It has to be so hard, but you’re going to get a great little person out of the chaos and crying and frustration, so good on you for being a tough love mom! I have a very hard time understanding parents who give in to their childrens’ every whim. The child ends up becoming a spoiled terd! No one wins! When I was 16 I started babysitting a 4 yr old boy. He’d lay at the front door after his mother would leave and scream bloody murder while pounding the door with his feet as hard (and as long) as he could. This went on until I thought I was going to start screaming and kicking doors, but then I just walked away. Amazingly enough, when his “audience” was removed, he stopped kicking and screaming. He came and found me. I ignored him when he started screeching again, and walked away form him. He followed me again, and I told him I wanted to play but we couldn’t until he stopped melting down. It worked! And it worked every freaking time! That kid loved me! And I had him cleaning his room! His mother sat me down one day and asked me how I was doing it. I remember being astonished! As I was telling her my ignore the b.s. methodology, he came into the room and started demanding that she give him pepperoni. She said no, he demanded, back and forth, he started wailing and screaming, and she reached over, open the bag of pepperoni and gave him one. GEE, I wonder why he thinks screaming and acting afool gets him what he wants…it was quite awkward. Anywho, this long ass story was just to underline even more what you said in this post. Sometimes the only way to get what you want (a healthy, happy child who respects others and isn’t selfish and spoiled) is to not give them everything they want. I support you, Bad Cop Shari! And send you my love and strength to get through the tough times to the fun times!

  16. MDinna
    April 24, 2015 / 2:27 pm

    I’m the good cop AND the bad cop because my husband works abroad. I’ve had to be a mom and a dad since my daughter was eight. There is no formula to good parenting actually. It’s all instinctive. You do what you think is right and hope for the best.

  17. April 28, 2015 / 9:48 am

    Hahahaa…. Shari!!! I laughed so hard i teared up reading this!! What a brilliant post, you wrote it so beautifully!! Our kiddos are the same age then, and Ezra had a stage where he would just go planking on the ground, shimmy his way under a couch or put his head under his baby stool and pout until someone came to get him. Obviously trying to get him out only made him squirm further underneath whatever furniture it was, so i just left him alone, hide myself away in the bathroom and laugh!! There’s definitely the daily tantrums and oh definitely the general refusal to do anything – NO!! But it’s really a whole lot of fun, the hugs and kisses, and he’s turning into my little defender – “Mummy, Daddy notti!” I wish he’ll stay a baby forever….!

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