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Shaping Selene’s Gifts
When Selene was still inside my womb, I was the “best mom ever“… in theory. I read up on so many parenting books – how to raise calm kids who eat their vegetables, say no to junk food and never talk back. It was all rainbows and butterflies. “I can handle this. This looks easy enough if I just stick to my guns!” Ay grabe, how ignorant and yabang of me! I know I always say this but it’s because if you look at social media, it looks like parenting/motherhood is a walk in the park. Rarely do you get to see the non-Instagrammable moments that make up most of our day.
After 5 years of #MomLife, I have to say, most of the time I still don’t know what I’m doing. There’s no manual to motherhood. Most of it is trial and error, at least for me. And everyday is learning on the job. I’m usually chill about most things but one of the issues always at the back of mind is, “How do I make sure that I’m helping Selene make the most out of her talents and skills?”
Selene has been showing signs of interest in singing, arts and dance ever since she was a year old. I didn’t know yet what to do with it except encourage and do it together with her. Whether it was dancing together or coloring and drawing together, I made sure that every time she showed interest, I would be there to support her as she tries it.
The New Three Rs
Before, the three Rs that everyone was adamant we kids then needed to learn were “reading, ‘riting and ‘rithmetic” but now, as per Dr. Fermin during a Promil video, the new three Rs we should be building in our kids are reasoning, resilience and responsibility. This learning stayed with me until now – it resonated with my belief that I should focus more on honing my kids’ emotional intelligence (EQ) rather than their intelligence quotient (IQ). I firmly believe that kids who grow up with higher EQ are far more at an advantage in life than those who are just book smart or high in IQ.
The world is a crazy place and we are faced with challenges and problems on a daily basis – I want my kids to be able to grow through those problems with a solid EQ than cower in fear or run away because they don’t know how to deal with them. Resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties, reasoning is being able to answer the whys and hows in their heads and responsibility is their personal duty to deal with something or someone. Together, these three will hopefully form a self-assured, emotionally stable individual that will be able to deal with difficulties well into adulthood.
Her favorite sport and activity so far: gymnastics.
How do I do it?
As for how I make sure that what I’m doing contributes to sharpening these three Rs? Honestly, I can’t say that I’m able to do it 100% all day everyday. As much as possible, I just make sure that I enforce discipline and boundaries. One learning I realized: It takes a lot of effort and stress to be a disciplinarian. I now realize why so many parents are quite lax with their children – it’s much easier than being a strict one. Disciplining will have you repeat yourself 1000x, bring out pre-mature wrinkles and drain all your remaining energy. But it’s the most rewarding – 10 to 20 years from now when you see your children thriving and battling out demons that other children won’t easily be able to do because they are used to getting their way as little kings.
Her Milk BFF
As part of nurturing her skills, talents and gifts, I also make sure she gets proper nutrition. No, I’m not the only-organic, no-fastfood, all-natural kind of mom. I grew up eating everything in sight and I don’t think I’m less of a person because of it. Of course, everything in moderation. My mom also limited our junk food and sugar intake but never deprived us of it. Selene – ever since she was a baby – is a huge milk drinker. Up to now, she never forgets to drink her Promil Four milk during breakfast and before bedtime. It has been her milk since she was weaned off breastfeeding (the 1-3 year old variant) and moved on to Promil Four when she turned 4 last year. It contains unsaturated fats from plant-based oils, whey and casein protein, and carbohydrates, strengthened with the addition of DHA, AA, and Lutein – which we believe helps her strengthen her body more when she does physical activities and optimizes her full potential in unlocking her gifts.
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