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My Current #Momlife Situation
This summer has been an extremely hectic, non-stop in-and-out-of-the-house season for Selene and I. Throughout the whole school year, she has been persistent in requesting to try out ballet, gymnastics, art class and music classes. Guess what? In 2 months, we have ticked off three out of those four activities. And can I just say? It has been nothing short of an Olympic sport trying to manage getting her to all her classes while still making time for my own work commitments on top of making sure she and Tristan are attended to. Not to mention, our 6-month-long yaya left us in the midst of all this which just made the whole ordeal 3x more challenging.
By no means is this a rant or a complaint post, you guys. I just thought I’d be open and share what goes on behind the polished Instagram posts and sporadic Instagram stories… a mom-on-the-edge-of-insanity-but-needs-to-hold-it-together-because-theres-no-other-choice. There was one particular day – during Selene’s recital – where I was at the brink of breaking down as I just felt physically and mentally drained. But I had no time nor venue to express my “breakdown” because I had to work, catch Selene’s recital and celebrate it with her afterwards.
And I share this because I want to acknowledge all these feelings we moms go through and I want to honor all the moms – who keep marching on tough day after tough day. It’s no easy feat being a mother (a single mother at that) when people depend on you that your mind and body feel like they’re not yours anymore. The few times we think of ourselves and maybe want to do something to make us feel better, we even stop and feel that dreaded #MomGuilt – “Am I being selfish?”, Should I be doing this, I mean shouldn’t I be 24/7 with my kids?”
Art camp with Teacher Robert Alejandro
Celebrating “Everyday Wins”
I could go on and on about my mom woes. But again, just because I share motherhood is hard doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate it. God, it’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. I can’t imagine my life without my kids and I would never trade it for anything, real talk. But I just also want to be completely transparent and show the other side of the #Momlife world. That while it’s the most fulfilling job in the world, it is still not all rainbows, unicorns, butterflies and sunshine everyday. What has kept me sane, stable and standing (!) – these past years especially – is the act of celebrating daily victories. Everyday wins that are seemingly mundane but with a shifted perspective are actually celebratory feats in themselves.
Like during the recital day a.k.a breakdown day, I celebrated the fact that I was able to bring Tristan to a work commitment – just the two of us with no other companion – and survived. He even enjoyed the event – which was a toy launch – that he didn’t want to leave at all. And how we managed to catch Ate Selene’s recital by taking the MRT while lugging around what felt like Thor’s mjolnir inside my big weekend bag (who brings a weekend bag good gosh!).
These small wins can even be “smaller“. Like just being able to book a car in minutes without having to wait for half an hour just to get cancelled on three times. Or being able to leave the house, kids in tow with kilay application time to spare. Or surviving a whole day without any of the bambinos throwing a tantrum while you’re left feeling helpless when you were out. It’s celebrating seemingly ‘small things’ that make us feel instantly uplifted and shift our negative perspectives to a more positive one. It doesn’t solve problems or magically make you feel 100% better but it’s a start.
Last month, I shared how just getting to Selene’s camp on time was a daily win for us. With no yaya to help around with Tristan, making sure both of them were clothed, bathed and fed (esp Tristan as I turn him over to my mom for the day), getting out of the house complete with all the necessary baon and art kits in tow and arriving to the workshop on time was a cause for a mini celebration. Instead of complaining about how hard it is without help or a yaya, I chose to focus on being able to accomplish the tasks instead.
May sound and seem like a shallow thing but it has helped me throughout these past years where I have to solely balance everything without going crazy – apart from my faith and spirituality, that is. With all the pressure on moms today on getting everything done – with social media to add to the already centuries-old expectations of a mother – I don’t want women who feel like me to go through it alone thinking others have it easy.
So take it easy, mommas. Breathe. Relax. Take it one day at a time. Pray, genuinely lift up all your worries and fears and doubts. Disconnect from social media from time to time to recharge and reflect.Go outside with your kiddos, play with them, breathe fresh outdoor air and hydrate – drink up on your H20! It’s the small, simple things that add up together to make a significant difference in our overall well-being.
For our family, we choose Absolute Distilled drinking water because it’s the #1 distilled drinking water. I’m assured that what my kids are drinking is safe as it’s the purest form of water. You can read more about it on my previous post here. Especially when we go out and eat at restaurants, I always bring Absolute bottles (kaya super bigat ng bag ko!) because as much as possible, I don’t want to risk their sensitive stomachs by letting them drink filtered tap water. There are a lot of branded water out there but how do you make sure that their claims are legitimate? How are you even sure they follow strict protocol? Well, with Absolute, we rest easy because they are National Sanitation Foundation International certified – meaning they abide by international standards!
Among my list of worries as a mom, making sure the water my family ingests is safe – is ticked off with Absolute. What drinking water do YOU trust, momma?
*In collaboration with Absolute Distilled. All stories are genuinely my own.
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