Dress: H&M / Shoes: Call it Spring / Bag: Topshop
“And one by one the nights between our separated cities are joined to the night that unites us.” ― Pablo Neruda
I’ve been quite ‘away‘ from the online world (and even offline!) the past few weeks because I’m finally feeling the long-term relationship blues after two months of my husband being 11,000 miles from me. I’m not sure if I shared it here on the blog but Enzo is currently in France for work and he’ll be there for a grand total of six months a.k.a forever in our terms. During the four years we’ve been together, the longest time we had to be apart was two weeks. We went from seeing each other at the end of the day for four years to going back to text messaging and Facetime-ing whenever his work and the time difference permit.
I was so confident that I wouldn’t feel any kind of whatever-this-is-I’m-feeling-now that I even pushed for him to take this opportunity even when it wasn’t even on the table yet. Which is why I’m asking myself now.. so what the hell is this thing I’m feeling!!!? There was even a week where I just wanted to cuddle with Selene the whole day and never leave the bedroom. “Sepanx” never felt so legit. I guess my point in writing this is to share that I can’t blog/write when I’m down. That can be a good thing and a bad thing. For one, I’ve had a lot of projects put on hold because I was too “depressed” or “distressed” to work. Bad thing.
It even got to the point where I was at a beauty event and while talking to a beauty editor about mundane life experiences, I was holding back my tears from falling! I can laugh about it now but imagine me holding back my tears throughout the whole brand presentation. I may have looked like I was so touched by the marketing pitch that I was moved to tears! Ha ha!
The good thing about this is that I’m aware of these feelings~ and I’m thankful that I have this blog (and you guys!) to vent out my emotions — either through rambles like these or writing about my makeup and skincare experiments — to keep my mind off the anxiety and distress. I just also have to thank the Internet Gods for cutting off our internet for five whole days to let me wallow in my misery even more. Getting the Internet back on was like a wake up call that pushed me to snap out of this rut because it felt like, “Hallelujah, Internet is back!! Shari, time to get your life back on track!“
With this, I’ve signed up for a personal fitness coach whom I’ll be training with for twice a week to sweat out these negative emotions. I even have new workout clothes to motivate myself. Ha ha! I’m also looking into doing yoga for its mental and emotional (as well as physical) benefits. I hope this gets me through four more months (or two as I might visit him which is another cause of distress because I might have to leave Selene here HUHU). Let me end this slightly emotional entry with a message to myself – “Be a warrior, not a worrier.“